That's a pretty bold statement and could mean many things. Why am I not feeling safe? It's not just me, but other Women as well and I'll explain why. I hold space for Women. Not Men. Not Children. Not Trans Women. Women. I shouldn't even have to say cis Women, or biological Women, but apparently I need to make that crystal clear these days. Let's break this down even further. I began hosting spiritual events in 2019. Starting with Women's circles, I branched out to co ed and even adding kid events (with parents present only) here and there. While I was new to this career path and very much so enjoying it, I wasn't sure where my niche lied yet. I had a couple uncomfortable and disturbing circumstances with Men happen (in this time period, I'm not talking the entirety of my life here). One was late 2020 and one was just this year 2024. In 2020 I thought I was becoming friends with this guy who showed a spiritual interest. Though he did not attend any of my events, we did go to some protests together and hung out a few times. He started telling me things that felt off, such as he wanted to do a reading for me, but it had to be in person.. and he wanted me to "hold onto this crystal ball and just roll it around for a while and give it back"... ..... ..... ok, so he wanted my energy in his weird crystal ball?... He then confessed his love for me via FB messenger out of the blue in a very pushy way which made me very uncomfortable - and I wasn't single, either. I can't even remember what I said back to him, but I made it clear to leave me alone and proceeded to block him. Things got weirder. I could sense him and even had an unsettling dream of him with a huge creepy grin on his face staring at me. He didn't leave me alone, not spiritually and energetically... I had to reach out to my other male friends in our circle and let them know what was up and ask them to be a 'body guard' of sorts if he ever tried to come up to me during protests. Nothing escalated from there, luckily, but he still gives me the creeps to this day. There was a deeper agenda there, a darker one.. did not like. Time passed. I had my daughter in November 2021 and took some time off from my work. As I started to get back into it I felt around of what types of offers and events I wanted to host. Though mostly Women come to my retreats, I have the odd Man who wishes to join. This is where creepo #2 came in. This was another guy I met during protesting in 2020 who seemed really kind and down to earth. He came for Reiki and to spend time with my horses while he wandered down his spiritual path, while also attending a co-ed retreat in March 2021. I can't recall when the next thing happened, but a bit down the road he started posting about finding his true self - as a Woman. Since we were friends, I kindly, but bluntly told him that what he was doing wasn't him. I thought maybe if I nip it in the butt before he goes too far with it, he'd snap out of this delusion. He did not. I didn't message, or comment on his posts anymore, but remained friends with him as I could clearly see he was going through some things. Eventually, either later 2023 or earlier 2024 I noticed I had a message in my business inbox from him. It was far from kosher. I honestly cannot even remember what vulgar words he wrote to me, only that I was so taken aback by it that I decided to not even respond. He was in a place where there would be no reasoning with him, so I'd just not give him any of my energy back. But it didn't stop there. He would continue to write to me - through the contact page on my website harassing me - but then he'd write an apology.. followed by another disgusting harassment letter.. and another.. and another... I'd forget about it at times, but it continued. Sometimes days would pass before another, or weeks, or even months. Ultimately it became too much and something had to be done. Since he decided to leave his personal contact info when he sent emails, my partner decided to call him to tell him (officially) to stop contacting me and my family and to stay away entirely. "Yep. I understand. Okay." he replied, or something of that nature. Following that phone call my parents received a letter at their address (which is where I conduct my retreats, it is their property) with a simple two words on it "F U" as well as his signature. Okay whacko, clearly off your rocker here. I contacted my paralegal and gave her his information to kindly tell him "F O." Time went by and just recently he wrote me another enormous email apologizing once again for the way he spoke to me. On top of his apology, he mentioned he hoped I would welcome him back for more retreats and into my life again - dude you burned that bridge and yes - you are probably still stalking me and reading this, just be glad I'm not naming you. I wrote back with a brief "I forgive you, but I don't forget. Leave me alone, do not even reply to this email." Luckily he hasn't replied.. but who knows how long that will last. These are not the only weird and uncomfortable happenings I've had the pleasure of dealing with from Men. It's really unfortunately, sad, truly sad, that many Women have these issues at all. I have not even had the worst happen to me, things that many other Women have endured from unsafe Men in their lives (I don't need to name things off here, you should all know). I've had it pretty good, to say the least. Other than a couple other instances that were also just kinda weird and creepy, nothing major has happened to me as a Woman due to a Man. Part of that reason is because I have stepped into my Masculine so much in my life to repell any possible creeps - I do not easily feel safe enough to fall back into my divine Feminine (and I'm not the only Woman who does this). Anywho, let me further my point here. I do not feel safe to hold space for Men at this time. When I opened up for that, weird shit went down which may, or may not happen again. I realize that crap can happen with Women, too, but I personally feel pretty safe hosting an event for a group of Women. Mind you, I usually vet those who I do not know whom wish to attend my circles before committing to their request to join. With Men, this is more difficult to do. Do I need to do a background check? Should I find your friends on FB and ask them what you are like? Should I give you a call? Do I need a physical male body guard present during my retreat? Should I carry a pointy stick with me at all times? That sounds extreme, but it's questions I've been asking, honestly. And part of me feels bad, because I know not all Men are bad - actually, I think most are good. But it's that small percent that have truly ruined it for the rest of them. And it's not a punishment, it's just the fact that I do not feel safe and secure enough to host for Men at this time. Circling back to my Women's retreats.. not all Women who join my sacred circles feel safe, either. From Men, or Men who identify as Women. I have absolutely no hate toward transgender people, as I believe everyone is on their own path and needs to follow their heart - but I also need to follow my heart. And my heart says No, I'm not allowing trans Women to join my sacred space for Women. A space that I hold to ensure they will be safe in. I will not compromise the safety of the Women joining me just to make someone else feel included. And I am not sorry. To any Men, or any trans Women, this is not a space for you. Though it may sound harsh by the written word, I do not mean it in any cruel way. I didn't think I'd need to make this point so clearly, but apparently, due to some recent comments, I do. Crystal clear. My circles, offerings and retreats are for biolological females only of 18 years and above. During my last retreat I casually brought up this topic and how I do not accept trans Women during my retreats. One of the Women attending gratefully said "Thank you!" as she raised her hands to the sky in relief. These days Women cannot even feel safe going into a public washroom without worrying that Men or trans Women will be in their private space. If that safety standard cannot be withheld, why should I have to break down the safety barrier and make Women feel unsettled just so I don't look like a transphobe? I am not a ***** transphobe. Neither is anyone else who is supporting keeping Women safe. Heck, I was even blocked from a Women's healing group on FB because I and other Women questioned trans Women being in the group because we voiced our concerns of feeling safe in that space. F*** us! We were booted! Maybe I should write this from a different perspective. Person 1: "Hi, I am calling about animal training, can I make an appointment?" Person 2: "Hello, I offer cat training services, can you tell me about your cat?" Person 1: "It's a dog, actually, but you can still accept it, right?" Person 2: "I'm sorry, I cannot take your dog in for this service." Person 1: "Why not!? It's still an animal, you're still an animal trainer, you should be more accepting and accommodating!" Person 2: "I need to keep my cats safe with other cats and therefore not allow a dog into my training facility. I also do not specialize in dog training, as I don't know much about this area." Cats and dogs are not the same. Men and Women are not the same. I am not going to discuss further on why that is right now because that will open up an even bigger can of worms. Again, I didn't want to have to address this, as it is such a sensitive topic that so many get offended over. It is not my intention to offend anyone, but it is my intention to speak my truth and keep Women in my circles feeling safe. I will not compromise their feelings of safety to accommodate a Man, or trans Woman. In time I may open up to offer co-ed circles again, but I do not personally feel comfortable enough to do this. In a world where many people are afraid to open up and speak their truth about how they identify when society is welcoming them with open arms, the same world is shunning Women who are begging for their safety needs to be met. The Divine Feminie is sacred. And I ensure I will keep it that way during my retreats. I will stand up and be the voice of Women who do not feel heard. To all Women who wish to join in, you are safe here and that safety will never be compromised. To all the Men who have requests to come, I hope and I aim that one day I can hold space for co-ed circles (aside from strictly Women's circles), I am just not ready for that at this time. I appreciate your interest and love to see so many Men open to spiritual growth. It is Men like you ready and willing to do their work that will help this world become the Utopia it is meant to be. Thank you for doing the work. To the trans Women who don't feel included. I send you love. I even encourage some of you to open up space to hold circles of your own, as this is not my niche, this is not my speciality. Wherever you are on your journey, may it be filled with peace, love and kindness. I wish you nothing but the best in your spiritual enlightenment. Know that I will never hold hate in my heart for you. I may receive backlash for this, but I honestly don't care. I try to keep heated topics to a minimun these days, focusing on my own development and helping to guide others through theirs, but heck, I've already been through the ringer with being charged for hositng perfectly legal protests.. People who know me either love me, or hate me and that's fine by me. I'm here to speak up and to stand tall, to make the wave of change for a better world. The light in me bows down and honours the light in you. Whoever you are Wherever you are Much love and many blessings Lor
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