The topic of boundaries has come up quite a lot in the work that I offer in Women's Equine Retreats, with also within myself and my own personal development. I used to be a people pleaser. I was afraid of hurting anyone's feelings by saying "no" but also, I felt the need to give and give and give to others, even if it meant depleting my energy. When I saw a friend looking for a ride, I'd automatically jump into my car to help them out, even if it wasn't an ideal time for me. I'd revolve my work around what others wanted me to do and offer, instead of what my inner knowing was telling me I needed to do. I would end up feeling physically and energetically drained to fill someone else's cup. Now I don't want to mix people pleasing up with the desire to help others, but that is a fine line that can be crossed if we are not careful where we tread. Horses are a great teacher in setting and holding their personal boundaries. When a horse doesn't want another horse in their space, they will make that clear by either pinning their ears back and tossing their head in their direction as if to say "move away from my hay!" or they will simply walk away. And the other horse doesn't get "butthurt" over it. Humans can learn quite a lot from equines and they way they interact with each other. Watching my herd I would notice when they don't want to be touched and I allow them to walk away. I don't hold them down and continue to snuggle up to them because it is what I want. I sure wouldn't enjoy someone rubbing up all over me and in my face if I needed some personal space, I don't think anyone would, really. This is why I allow my horses to come and go at liberty during events and retreats. They are their own being, an individual Soul who has a say in what they want to do and if they wish to participate, or not. The Women who join my circles have this choice as well. Don't want to hug? Don't have to. Don't want to introduce yourself? Don't have to. Don't want to follow every single activity we do? Don't have to. You create your own boundaries of what you are comfortable with - and we don't become offended by it. I recently had a Woman message me on facebook in a group chat with her friend. Both were interested in either a retreat, or yoga flow. I kindly asked them to send an inquiry through my website so I could keep track of everyone and not lose any messages, where from those emails I can book a discovery call to further chat. The one Woman sent a voice message letting me know that she has an online worldwide spiritual business and the way I go about things is too "nit picky" for her and therefore she was no longer interested. If you are that Woman reading this, know that I have no hard feelings by that, but I do feel that you were attempting to cross my boundary of how I conduct my business (even if it was unintentional). Perhaps your own boundary was crossed which resulted in a wound that still festers within you. I say that as someone who is still working on releasing past hurts, I am not perfect in this area, either. I would still happily book a discovery call if you change your mind and wish to pursue attending an event. I do not have to allow others to cross my boundary, change the way I accept bookings and slip back into people pleasing just to get one person to come to an event. I explained to her briefly that it may seem like nit picking to her, but it is how I can stay organized and not miss her message. I usually always have an inquiry form for my offerings and have folks inquire through my website, but my last retreat I didn't add a web page for it, as I didn't think many, if any would come. Maybe just a couple friends, if that. The retreat got so much notice and Women were messaging me in all areas, which I found very difficult to keep track of and therefore I ended up not getting full details to all attendees. This was my own fault and I learned from it, so after that I went back to doing everything from my website once again. This is a boundary I will hold. I require a % or $ amount to hold a ticket for an event, whether you are a new attendee, or a close friend. This is a boundary I set in my business to ensure I can keep everything as smooth as possible for both myself and my attendees. Give yourself permission to set your own boundaries, in any area of life, no matter how they look. Tune into yourself and what you need by saying "yes" to yourself, even if it means saying "no" to someone else. We may be here to serve the collective as we heal our wounds and raise our consciousness, but we can only help others when we give ourselves what we need first. Pour from your full cup and honour your own, as well as other people's boundaries. If my words and retreats spark your interest, head on over to my website and check out what upcoming events will be hosted here at The Enchanted Forest and fill out an inquiry form at the bottom of each event page to chat with me and sign up. Much love and many healthy boundaries! Lor
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