It takes courage to step into our truth, but it also takes clarity. If we cannot sense and feel our true self, how can we express it?
I was honoured to hold space for a small group of Women this past full moon at my Enchanted Forest, where we unplugged from technology and society for the day. It was a beautiful event, like minded Sisters from all over Ontario coming together to participate in cleansing ceremonies, healing sessions, awakening activations and just taking the time to be present in the Now, surrounded in a serene Nature setting. Giving my time and energy to assist others on their healing and awakening journey is something I love to do, but I also needed time for my own healing retreat.
[Photos by Sylvia Jae Houston]
The weekend following my Sacred Sisters Unplugged event, I headed a few hours up North to a beautiful Scandinavian log home to spend a few days in solitude. The pull to get away had been stirring in me for quite some time, being more intense these past six months during this Plandemic. Taking the time to myself was of the utmost importance, for if I do not take care of myself, I cannot in return help others. For a moment I almost felt guilty about
booking an entire cottage for one person and leaving my responsibilities and the world behind, but I quickly reminded myself that I am more than deserving of this. When I first made the booking, I expected to be taking this time to do some deep soul journeying, meditating a lot, working on my yoga teacher training, quieting my mind. Running off into the woods on my own to come out a new and improved version of myself.
That kinda went out the window quick.
Before I departed for my adventure, I told myself that it is totally acceptable to have no expectations of this trip. Trusting how I felt in each moment to guide me towards what I need to do, or not do, during my time away. I had moments of bliss, where I let everything go and was present in the moment. Lying on the floating dock, even with it being a busy first couple days on Labour Day weekend, I learned to better go with the flow. The more I relaxed on the dock, with boats flying by on the river, waves pushing me back and forth, the more I felt my being able to surrender. Absorbing the shock of the waves and not allowing myself to feel restricted, or stressed when things get rocky, that was a nice reminder to release fears based around expectations. We may not have control of what is going on around us, but we can learn to be in control of if we do not allow fear to rule our feelings. Sure, it takes time and practice, but I've experienced both sides, living in fear and living in love and gratitude. The more we catch ourselves when those fearful thoughts come up and switch our thinking back to a positive mind set, the quicker we will start creating new behavioral patterns.
I began to ponder what I was hoping to get insight to on this trip. Prior to leaving, I have been putting myself on the front lines in this 3D battle, taking the brunt of ridicule and judgement from others and putting my reputation on the line. That isn't something that bothers me, I am quite happy and content in my own skin. However, I felt as though I was falling into areas where I could not best serve. Legal action needs to be taken against those who have committed crimes against humanity. I believe the entire human race needs to get up off their knees and stand up against tyranny. Though I have been standing up and standing strong, I needed to listen to my higher self as to where I am needed in this fight. With much happening in the physical plane, we must not forget that there is also a lot going down in the Astral realm, for this is a war on consciousness. So I've been asking myself, what are my talents? What are my strong points? What is my purpose in this war? How can I help? The answers to these questions will vary for us all, for we all have our unique gifts to bring to the table. For many, it may be speaking up on truth topics, for others, it may be working on their own spiritual development to help bring about a new world. For some, a bit of both, or perhaps something totally different. All of us have unique talents and gifts that we can bring to the table and only we know what it is we need to do.
So how do we know if we are listening to our true self?
Making decisions out of love, not fear. If we are making a decision based on fear, it likely will not be beneficial to us in the long, or even short run. That is not to say that fear doesn't have a place, as it certainly does. Fear comes from the Reptillian part of our brain, which is very instinctual and reactive. Our fear response gets us to quickly move out of the way of danger, but we do not have to allow fear to run our lives. The opposite of fear of course, is love. Making a choice based out of love will more than likely be beneficial to our growth and development, for we are that of pure unconditional Divine love and light in our truest form (non incarnated). When we make a decision out of love, we shift our vibration to a higher elevation, creating a direct connection with the Divine God.
Paying attention to how we are feeling physically, emotionally and energetically.
When I was trying to figure out what I needed to do in regards to this fight and finding my purpose, I had to really tune into my body, mind and spirit to see what decision felt right for me. I would imagine myself after making different choices and observe how I felt about the decision I had made. I noticed what decisions felt good in my body, those decisions didn't leave room for fear in me and I felt relaxed, confident and aligned. I kept at this practice, going through other situations in my life, to work on feeling where my truth lies.
Another practice to try is muscle testing. Our muscles react to what our unconscious mind/higher self already knows. Through muscle testing, we can find our inner truth through our physical body. To give it a shot, make a circle with your thumb and index finger and hold the circle steady, but not harshly. Say to yourself "My name is (and say your real name)", then try to pass the index finger on your opposite hand through the closed fingers, trying to break open the circle (with about as much force as you would type on a keyboard). If the circle stands firm, your body is telling the truth, or "yes." If the circle breaks, your body is saying "no." Try a few different common questions with answers you already know to calibrate your 'machine' before moving onto further questions.
What I also do sometimes, is grab a coin. Assign two different options to each side of the coin and flip it. Regardless of the outcome, I notice how I feel about said outcome. This helps me know if I really resonate with a decision, or not.
Allow the ego to take the back seat.
The ego can easily take over and it happens to all of us. For those who claim they have no ego, that is a prime example of the ego talking. Having an ego is part of being human.
Learning how to think and act from our higher self, instead of our ego, is a talent that we can all learn to nearly master. I say nearly, as like I just said, we are Human. Very emotional
creatures living in a physical 3D experience - and that is perfectly okay. As we work on living from love and truth, we create not only new healthy patterns in our life, we start aligning
with our divine path.
Saying "No" to others is saying "Yes" to Ourselves.
Ever feel obligated to do something because someone else asked you? Or perhaps they encouraged you to take on a project, or role that you're not quite sure feels like the right path?
It's okay to say no, even if you previously said yes. Changing our mind is a part of learning and growth. I am the type of person that wants to follow through when I say I will do something, even if it doesn't feel that it aligns with me, so this can be a hard thing for me to do. But the more I've said "No" when something isn't feeling good, even if I previously said "Yes", the more I can sense myself stepping into my truth and landing closer to where I am meant to be. I had to change my mind on a direction I was going to take in this war. It didn't seem like an enormous change per-say, perhaps more of a butterfly effect that will take place further down the road, but after deciding to make that change, I felt a huge release physically, followed by a surge of relief and confidence in my choice. Ask for signs.
I asked for signs and they came to me. In numbers, with wildlife, with "aha" moments." Asking for signs is absolutely acceptable and very much so encouraged, but be patient, for
we may not receive guidance at the very moment we ask (though, we might). Often times I will have a thought run through my mind and immediately see an Angel number sequence (1111, 222, 1234, 1212 etc). If I do not have the number meaning already memorized, I look it up online and see what the Spirits are telling me. Plant the seed, be grateful for your Spirit Guides and Angels assisting you and be sure to take notice of what is going on around you. Come, Clarity. I found signs that I was going down the wrong path - which I could feel, but wasn't entirely
paying attention to these feelings and didn't quite have the clarity to see the road I was meant to take.
Clarity came more with quieting my mind. Being still and observing what was around me in this serene wilderness landscape. Having my phone shut off and taking time for absolutely
nothing started to bring bouts of clarity and perception, not to mention intuitive downloads that I still feel I am processing. It also came when I surrendered to the divine and did an Oracle reading for myself, trusting the cards with the messages meant for me to fall from the deck. Taking the time to unplug and be still allowed my mind to become clearer and more at ease with being able to trust myself while doing my own reading.
Though I spent a decent amount time in moments of stillness, looking for answers and wanting to evolve myself Spiritually, I found myself needing to take time to delve into some mindless television to escape and let go of everything going on in my mind. Did I feel slightly disappointed in myself for having some screen time during my personal Soulcation? At first, a bit. Again, I reminded myself that this trip was to give myself whatever I needed in each moment. Much time from my trip was spent in Spiritual practices, but it didn't all have to be. I desperately needed to relax and do nothing for a while and I am very glad I gave myself permission to do so.
First morning I woke in this beautiful location, I went out early on the dock, when cottagers were still asleep. The river was quiet and placid, so I indulged in a peaceful morning swim. The water was far warmer than the crisp air, making it easy to stay in, once I was submerged. This was the first real full swim I got in all year and man, did I ever need it. With water being my element, I felt at home. Diving into the deep dark river, I sensed a cleansing take place and an energy of renewal as I emerged back onto the dock. Then the cold hit me. I was frozen - but I felt so alive!
This Soulcation allowed the layers of my ego shell to fall, as I stepped through the gateway to my truth.
Much is still coming to me, I feel like I am constantly getting downloads and there have been quite a few changes already in the short time I have been back. Though I greatly enjoyed my time away in solitude, I was very egar and ready to return home. However, not long after my arrival, I already started to feel waves of exhaustion start flooding back to me.
More quiet time is needed, as I stick to my guns and continue to listen to my intuition and the signs around me to continue down my path, confident and care free.
Are you ready to step through the gateway to your truth?