I am fortunate to have experienced a great childhood. My parents were together and being the only child, a lot of their time, energy and attention was on me. I always had food available to me, grew up in a lovely home, participated in many activities such as figure skating, horseback riding, piano & voice lessons and I always felt safe. I am very blessed to experience such a wonderful and secure childhood, though I understand that is not the case for all, this is my experience in this life time.
I remember being a happy go lucky hippy animal loving kid. Filled with humour and siLlinEsS and being kind to my pets and my friends, thinking, "Why would anyone have any reason to be mean to someone else?" Of course there came times where others were not so nice to me, but overall I felt very at peace when I was young. Life as a 'young hobbit' was filled with fun and adventure, from family pool parties to road trips to Nova Scotia, Florida and eventually flying down to Dominican Republic and Mexico for vacations with my parents. One of my fondest memories was swimming in the shallow Caribbean waters, the warm sun, beautiful blue skies, crystal clear water and soft sandy beach uplifted my spirit. I feel at home in the water, the Ocean in particular and gliding through the waves was absolute joy. Other key moments as a child were when I started horseback riding, feeling so free, yet connected to my equine partners. Though I loved figure skating, being with horses was an experience like no other. I was lucky to get my own horse at 14, whom I still have today.
Without going on too much about my time as a child, I'll sum it up as it was absolutely wonderful. Coming into my teens was rough. I was vaccine injured, but didn't know it at the time, though I was feeling the affects, developing allergies and asthma at 12 years old. I had a hard time running and figure skating after that. I continued to skate until I was 20, but quit after feeling like I was at a stand still from being so out of breath all the time. During my teen years I was also medicated for 'bipolar,' which the medications gave me brain fog, memory loss, extreme anxiety and other symptoms, never fixing me, for they simply do not fix the metamorphoses of becoming a teenager. I was very much in a state of anger and panic through my teen years and even into my early 20s. As I became an adult and moved to another city, I let go of some things that brought me joy as a child, such as horseback riding. Though I still had my horses at my parents' and visited every week to help with their care, I did not ride much. New interests took priority, becoming a photographer and doing some freelance modeling were my new hobbies, as well as my career. I did enjoy what I was doing, but looking back, I felt different during this period of my life than I did when I was a child. I did not feel like the same person, which is understandable, as we all grow and change through life. During this decade, I was with a partner who did not align with my truth, forced me to walk on egg shells and dimmed my light. It was not my favourite era. Stepping into my early 30s, I cut loose of my ex partner, found a partner who matched my values and brought his light and became a Mother at 33. Feeling and understanding the love between a Mother and my baby, this was one of - if not the best feeling in the world. I tell my daughter all the time "I love you more than anything, you are my favourite everything." I have noticed the way I act, think and feel has changed drastically since having my daughter. I open up more into my fun and silly self, catching myself smiling more than I have in years.
I remember my best friend telling me a few years ago after she had her first born "Children are good for you." I enjoyed playing with her son, but it wasn't the same as having my own. After I became a Mother, I understood what she meant.
Children are good for the soul. My child has brought me back to a place I thrived in, that I didn't realize I was missing until she came into my life. Playing games, silly faces, singing and dancing, so much laughter and wonder.
Looking back now on myself as a child. I wasn't afraid to be myself. I didn't care what others thought of me. I had confidence to sing and dance. I spent time doing what brought me joy - but I also found joy in all the little things. Reflecting on my childhood now at 35, I want to bring more of what I love, who I was, who I truly am - into my life. My daughter is helping me do just this. Every time she sees a kitty she says "meeew!" followed with a loose lipped snort every time she sees a horse and a "woof woof" any time she sees a puppy. She loves animals, as I did. Though I will never push her, she has been loving spending time with my horses and the other day even helped me brush them. My favourite everything is linking me back to what I love and I am having the best time enjoying the horses with her. This has brought much excitement into my soul and I am looking forward to getting back into doing what I love with who I love most.
The best eras of my life are when I was a child and now as a Mother with a child. My life is filled with magick, wonder and joy once again.
Want to experience a day event for Mothers to return to their self, learning tools to help give you what you need with a tribe of Women? Sign up for Sacred Mother's Bloom with Michelle Comeau and I May 26 in Wallaceburg.
April is also 20% off Reiki session, either in person, or distance.
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Until next time,